Sometimes in life, you're going to be stuck and won't know what to do. Sometimes your motivation will run low and don't know exactly what to aim for. And there will be times when you don't feel like offering advice to people because you have your own problems to handle that if you try to help people that aren't listening, you might explode. These are all those moments, you just want to put into a big, black garbage bag and chuck down the river. But it's ok. Why do we feel the need to always be on track and on top of everything while having a certain plan. I understand that most of the time we don't so why do we worry so much? Just except what you're going through and release. It's ok to feel what you feel at this time. We don't have to worry about feeling a certain way. If we can't control the present- then let's let go of the control.
It is getting harder and harder to remember what it's like to be a kid. Summer's felt so long and the freedom we felt to explore and think without any burdens was endless. Maybe there was restrictions and rules parents put on us and of course getting to bed was an issue but don't we put worse restrictions on ourselves now. We tell ourselves we have to be a certain way, work hard, stop being too sensitive, and so on. When does it end? We boss ourselves around 24/7 and for what? To live up to certain expectations and get disappointed when we can't meet them. Well, we aren't super heroes and we don't have magical powers. Once anyone gets older and the wondrous childhood days of no responsibility diminish more and more, we all put ourselves into a certain category while piling on the pressure of life. In most cases we dig our own holes.
Summer is over and school is here again for another year. It's depressing and all there is to think about is well... thinking. Thoughts of the future keep pouring in and it is hard talking to people who know what they want to do and have a plan. That conversation goes like this: Hey Lauren, How are you doing? I'm doing great, just got a job as a teacher and oh did you know... I'm engaged!" While here I am trying to show entushiasim when in reality, I'm trying to fight off the green-eyed monster thinking to myself, why can't I have that? I'm petrified and I'm constantly being reminded all the time that there are no jobs out there so if I don't know what I want to do, where does that lead me? And I'm one of those people that want so much in their life. A person who has big dreams and hopes. I know it is never good to compare to other people, but again, we are all human and just want to be happy too. This Summer was a lovely escape but like anything, nothing lasts. But like anything we got to keep pushing on without hurting yourself. Take each day as it comes. You are who you are and we can only do so much. Even as a kid, we complained at times- now we want those days back. So enjoy each day and love who you are. No one in this entire world is like you. Embrace and share what others don't have. Lets not wait for rewards in life but rejoice when it comes. But you don't need to listen to me right now. It's ok, remember?
There is a song called Drive by Incubus with the lyrics that says "Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open
arms and open eyes."
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
My Claddagh Story
The beautiful irish ring worn today by many people encompasses a great symbolic meaning and it seems that mostly everyone who wears one possesses their own story. With its accented and pronounced radiance dressed up in silver or gold, the claddagh ring stands out as a very powerful symbol. Whether it is worn with its intended meaning or as a treasure, it is very much valued by its owner.
The center piece displays a heart of love surrounded by hands of friendship and on top rests a crown of loyalty. The old custom and tradition of this ring can be worn to represent if a person's heart is available or taken. If the ring is worn on the left hand with the heart facing inward, it means that you are married. But if the heart is facing outward, you are enaged and will soon be wed. If the ring is worn on the right hand with the heart facing inward, you're in a relationship with someone and your heart is therefore taken, but if the heart is looking the other way, then you are still in search for love and your heart is open.
This ring always intrigued me and I became captivated when I eventually learned of it's meaning. I absolutely loved when I saw others around me wearing the ring and I would automatically start up a conversation about it. When I got older and bought my first claddagh ring, I followed this traditional custom. It wasn't until 2006 when I started using the ring's meaning in my own way, that I truly saw its profound significance and importance in my life and now it never leaves my finger.
I was first introduced to the claddagh ring when i was a little girl and my grandmother took me to a jewelry store. I don't remember my age or my surroundings, I just remember the store and how it was important for her to buy me this ring. She picked out a small, silver, claddagh ring and she found the right one to fit my finger and then she bought it for me. This time was highlighted, everything else seemed to be a blur, but a special memory was formed and a link was created. From that day on, I saw this symbol as our own- a special bond we shared of her irish background she passed down and from all the love she bestowed. She always wore a gold claddagh ring on one of her fingers and I always admired that ring and would gaze at it knowing it represented a connection we had.
I tried numerous times to find the ring my grandmother bought for me but it was impossible and I think it will forever remain lost. If i would've known how much that ring would mean to me in the future, I would have never taken it off, just like the one i own today. This one, ironically, has a black heart.
My grandmother died November 17th 2006 due to a sudden aneurism in the brain. A beautiful, healthy, and incredible person taken from my life before I ever got a chance to say goodbye. She died on the way to the hospital, this i know, even though a machine was keeping her alive until we all decided it was time to let her go. I stared at my ring and rubbed the heart so roughly that the ring become wet from the sweat of my finger caused by severe pain surrounding my entire body. I clung on to it, pressing it against my finger, like a memory I didn't want to forget. At this time the heart was facing outward due to a difficult relationship my boyfriend and I had at the time, but when I was sitting there at the hospital, I didn't want to think of him as my finger caressed the ring. My only thoughts were of my grandmother and this ring was what she gave to me- not the one I lost long ago but the meaning, the power, the love that will remain with me forever. I took the ring off my finger and slide it back on with the heart facing towards me. My grandmother was gone but she wasn't permantly gone from my life and I know she will always be with me. I am taken. She always loved me and showed it so much throughout my life and I will always be taken by her. My grandmother. My best friend. The black heart on this ring became meant to be and the meaning is stronger than ever- A hidden secret resting upon my finger connecting to my soul. But I own something even better now. My grandfather gave me her own, gold, claddagh ring that she always wore and this means more to me than anything. I always owned silver, but now I have gold.
In a book called the claddagh ring by Malachy McCourt, there is a poem by Patrick B. Kelly that represents the power and beauty of the claddagh ring but most importantly what is portrays in my own life. Just recently, I wrote my own.
The Old Claddagh Ring
by Patrick B. Kelly
The Old Claddagh Ring, it was my grandmother's
She wore it a lifetime, and gave it to me
All through the long years, she wore it so proudly
It was made where the Claddagh rolls down to the sea
What tales it could tell, of trials and of hardship
And of grand happy days, when the whole world did sing
So away with your sorrow, it will bring luck tomorrow
Sure everyone loves it, the Old Claddagh Ring
With the crown and the crest, to remind us of honour
And clasping the heart that God's blessing would bring
A circle of gold, always kept homes contented
With true love entwined in the Old Claddagh Ring
As she knelt at her prayers and thought of the dear ones
Her soft gentle smile, it would charm a king
On her worn hand, as she told me her story
You could see the bright glint of the Old Claddagh Ring
It was her gift to me, and it made me so happy
With this on my finger, my heart beats would ring
No king on his throne could be half so happy
As I am when wearing my Old Claddagh Ring
When the angels above call me up to heaven
In the heart of the Claddagh, their voices will sing
"Away with your sorrows, you'll be with us tomorrow,
Be sure and bring with you, the Old Claddagh Ring."
Oh, Aquamarine
The finest of blues
Born with the color flowing throughout my blood
Dripping from a claddagh of memory
So permanently attached upon my finger
A magnet to my grandmother
The link connected to a blue heart
Coloring my world as a constant reminder
The blanketed sky where she watches
Like a river reflecting the sky in soft ripples
Not to disturb their unity transforming to one
A desire to swim with the water splashing over me
A continuous rejuvenation of memory
An understanding of a fish’s dependence on water
Our shared Piscean souls
The color resting beside diamonds, rubies and pearls
Value more often to catch the light
A gift left for me
And the golden treasure dressed in blue
That walks beside me always
I Love You Nana...
The center piece displays a heart of love surrounded by hands of friendship and on top rests a crown of loyalty. The old custom and tradition of this ring can be worn to represent if a person's heart is available or taken. If the ring is worn on the left hand with the heart facing inward, it means that you are married. But if the heart is facing outward, you are enaged and will soon be wed. If the ring is worn on the right hand with the heart facing inward, you're in a relationship with someone and your heart is therefore taken, but if the heart is looking the other way, then you are still in search for love and your heart is open.
This ring always intrigued me and I became captivated when I eventually learned of it's meaning. I absolutely loved when I saw others around me wearing the ring and I would automatically start up a conversation about it. When I got older and bought my first claddagh ring, I followed this traditional custom. It wasn't until 2006 when I started using the ring's meaning in my own way, that I truly saw its profound significance and importance in my life and now it never leaves my finger.
I was first introduced to the claddagh ring when i was a little girl and my grandmother took me to a jewelry store. I don't remember my age or my surroundings, I just remember the store and how it was important for her to buy me this ring. She picked out a small, silver, claddagh ring and she found the right one to fit my finger and then she bought it for me. This time was highlighted, everything else seemed to be a blur, but a special memory was formed and a link was created. From that day on, I saw this symbol as our own- a special bond we shared of her irish background she passed down and from all the love she bestowed. She always wore a gold claddagh ring on one of her fingers and I always admired that ring and would gaze at it knowing it represented a connection we had.
I tried numerous times to find the ring my grandmother bought for me but it was impossible and I think it will forever remain lost. If i would've known how much that ring would mean to me in the future, I would have never taken it off, just like the one i own today. This one, ironically, has a black heart.
My grandmother died November 17th 2006 due to a sudden aneurism in the brain. A beautiful, healthy, and incredible person taken from my life before I ever got a chance to say goodbye. She died on the way to the hospital, this i know, even though a machine was keeping her alive until we all decided it was time to let her go. I stared at my ring and rubbed the heart so roughly that the ring become wet from the sweat of my finger caused by severe pain surrounding my entire body. I clung on to it, pressing it against my finger, like a memory I didn't want to forget. At this time the heart was facing outward due to a difficult relationship my boyfriend and I had at the time, but when I was sitting there at the hospital, I didn't want to think of him as my finger caressed the ring. My only thoughts were of my grandmother and this ring was what she gave to me- not the one I lost long ago but the meaning, the power, the love that will remain with me forever. I took the ring off my finger and slide it back on with the heart facing towards me. My grandmother was gone but she wasn't permantly gone from my life and I know she will always be with me. I am taken. She always loved me and showed it so much throughout my life and I will always be taken by her. My grandmother. My best friend. The black heart on this ring became meant to be and the meaning is stronger than ever- A hidden secret resting upon my finger connecting to my soul. But I own something even better now. My grandfather gave me her own, gold, claddagh ring that she always wore and this means more to me than anything. I always owned silver, but now I have gold.
In a book called the claddagh ring by Malachy McCourt, there is a poem by Patrick B. Kelly that represents the power and beauty of the claddagh ring but most importantly what is portrays in my own life. Just recently, I wrote my own.
The Old Claddagh Ring
by Patrick B. Kelly
The Old Claddagh Ring, it was my grandmother's
She wore it a lifetime, and gave it to me
All through the long years, she wore it so proudly
It was made where the Claddagh rolls down to the sea
What tales it could tell, of trials and of hardship
And of grand happy days, when the whole world did sing
So away with your sorrow, it will bring luck tomorrow
Sure everyone loves it, the Old Claddagh Ring
With the crown and the crest, to remind us of honour
And clasping the heart that God's blessing would bring
A circle of gold, always kept homes contented
With true love entwined in the Old Claddagh Ring
As she knelt at her prayers and thought of the dear ones
Her soft gentle smile, it would charm a king
On her worn hand, as she told me her story
You could see the bright glint of the Old Claddagh Ring
It was her gift to me, and it made me so happy
With this on my finger, my heart beats would ring
No king on his throne could be half so happy
As I am when wearing my Old Claddagh Ring
When the angels above call me up to heaven
In the heart of the Claddagh, their voices will sing
"Away with your sorrows, you'll be with us tomorrow,
Be sure and bring with you, the Old Claddagh Ring."
Oh, Aquamarine
The finest of blues
Born with the color flowing throughout my blood
Dripping from a claddagh of memory
So permanently attached upon my finger
A magnet to my grandmother
The link connected to a blue heart
Coloring my world as a constant reminder
The blanketed sky where she watches
Like a river reflecting the sky in soft ripples
Not to disturb their unity transforming to one
A desire to swim with the water splashing over me
A continuous rejuvenation of memory
An understanding of a fish’s dependence on water
Our shared Piscean souls
The color resting beside diamonds, rubies and pearls
Value more often to catch the light
A gift left for me
And the golden treasure dressed in blue
That walks beside me always
I Love You Nana...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Summer Anticipation
Summer is glorious. It is the time where we all come out of hibernation mode, get a rejuvenation of motivation, and actually see our bare feet more often.
Winter can be beautiful as every season has its perks. I also happen to take advantage of the cold, dreary weather, and get ideas for poems. Gloom gives me inspiration. I find it enjoyable to cuddle up at home sometimes in a hoodie(hooded sweatshirt), staring out of the window at a wintry storm. But winter can also be the cause of depression, a time where one rather bury their feelings inside like the snow to the last remains of grass and it takes forever to melt away. Just like the snow, winter can linger. The summer creeps up slowly but with much anticipation and urgency. So often, most people try to get the most out of it and enjoy it thoroughly.
The summer gives us the opportunity to get out and explore and plan adventures. To let loose and take chances; break out of the norm and into a warmer light. It is a time for new beginnings. Summers just seem to be remembered for special romances, happy memories, and exciting experiences, while winter is often related to the end. We hear more about deaths, breakup's and sad news. Summer lets us have the ability to be care-free -to think about new possibilities. It becomes an amazing feeling when you can walk around with your shoes and socks off and let them get a chance to touch something different besides the bottom of your shoes. Doesn't it seem like the world is more beautiful and vibrant, where people take the time to notice the little things in life? There's nothing like the first time going to the beach after a long winter. Once you feel the sand under your feet as your staring out into the ocean, your body begins to feel a little lighter and the tension just increases as you say "ah, this is more like it."
It's the start to girls trying to stand out in their new attire, flowing hair, and a pretty nice pair of sunglasses. Of course certain outfits appear like they get shorter and shorter every year. This happens even on the colder days, because people can't wait for this incredible feeling. Guys are seen more with there shirts off, trying to get noticed in their stylish convertibles. Mostly everyone looks forward to being admired and checked out.
Most of all, people crave to get out and have a good time- to leave the stress behind and laugh. It feels like all winter your holding your breath and finally summer is that release where you can let go and finally...breathe. Many people can't wait for summer to come and the slightest hint of warm weather gets people to become speed demons on the roads. It seems like more people were thrown into the world, but crowds don't bother you that much and the complaining isn't as bad as the winter. Why? Because it is summer and there is so many ways you can enjoy it without worrying about all the unnecessary things. Many people are just happy for that wonderful escape. It's a good idea to get out before the opportunity melts away. Enjoy it.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
It's in the Code
It's incredible that I love to write and gather up all my emotions in a nice size glass and let the glass tip over with its contents dripping everywhere, but I don't write that much. I want to and I should but I just don't get to doing it. Lately my thoughts been a collection of fears and if anyone knows me or reads some of my blogs will understand that I am a person who eats fear for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and sometimes it doesn't leave my system.
We all want a job in life that will make us happy and comfortable. The dream situation would be to do something worth while and productive- something your happy about and don't mind driving to every day. A place where you can laugh and work at the same time and know it is ok to do this. And of course, going home feeling proud that you just made a great amount of money to share with your loved ones. Sound nice? I just tapped into your code.
The book I am reading now is called "The Culture code" by Clotaire Rapaille. I think this man is incredibly insightful and inspirational. I am very passionate about the way people think and why they do the things they do. So I guess you can say that I love psychology and even though this book is about marketing and business, a good way of looking at it, is understanding people on a deeper level. To unlock their codes. "The Culture code is the unconsciuos meaning we apply to any given thing" and every culture isn't the same because they understand things and view things differently. The reason for this is imprints. When an emotion becomes so strong, a memory is formed, which leads to a learned experience. An imprint is "the combination of the experience and its accompanying emotion." It changes our thoughts and behavior and ultimatly "helps make us more of who we are." Sure it is about marketing because once you learn the codes for things, you are basically connecting with someone on a level, one that they will understand and relate to.
Getting back on track here, Clotaire desribes the American Culture Code for work as "WHO YOU ARE." Jobs don't just provide you with a way to pay off bills- it gives us life and meaning. But if we are not fulfilled and don't see a job as meangiful, then we would consider ourselves without a real identity. Americans do put a lot of pressure on themsleves and jobs can get overwelming at times but if it is a rewarding job and if "we believe that our jobs have genuine value to the company we work for and that we are doing something worthwhile in our work," it can give us a profound sense of identity.
The loss of a job can be so devastating to a person and make them feel that they are nothing. Maybe this is why when someone asks me where I work or what I want to do, knots in my stomach begin to tighten and the butterflies come swarming in. I don't know exactly what I want to do! This freaks me out. But I know that I want to be something great. I want to inspire the world. I want to work hard and be stressed out, as long as I have a job that makes me happy and proud. And until I get there, I will just have to keep aiming for my dream to come true. But thanks to Clotaire Rapaille, I now know that it is perfectly fine to have these fears. It's one of the American codes we possess. There are many others. Many of us all want the same thing and when we look at all those higher up people that have it, we wonder why we can't have it too. And until then, it is just hard sometimes to untie those knots.
We all want a job in life that will make us happy and comfortable. The dream situation would be to do something worth while and productive- something your happy about and don't mind driving to every day. A place where you can laugh and work at the same time and know it is ok to do this. And of course, going home feeling proud that you just made a great amount of money to share with your loved ones. Sound nice? I just tapped into your code.
The book I am reading now is called "The Culture code" by Clotaire Rapaille. I think this man is incredibly insightful and inspirational. I am very passionate about the way people think and why they do the things they do. So I guess you can say that I love psychology and even though this book is about marketing and business, a good way of looking at it, is understanding people on a deeper level. To unlock their codes. "The Culture code is the unconsciuos meaning we apply to any given thing" and every culture isn't the same because they understand things and view things differently. The reason for this is imprints. When an emotion becomes so strong, a memory is formed, which leads to a learned experience. An imprint is "the combination of the experience and its accompanying emotion." It changes our thoughts and behavior and ultimatly "helps make us more of who we are." Sure it is about marketing because once you learn the codes for things, you are basically connecting with someone on a level, one that they will understand and relate to.
Getting back on track here, Clotaire desribes the American Culture Code for work as "WHO YOU ARE." Jobs don't just provide you with a way to pay off bills- it gives us life and meaning. But if we are not fulfilled and don't see a job as meangiful, then we would consider ourselves without a real identity. Americans do put a lot of pressure on themsleves and jobs can get overwelming at times but if it is a rewarding job and if "we believe that our jobs have genuine value to the company we work for and that we are doing something worthwhile in our work," it can give us a profound sense of identity.
The loss of a job can be so devastating to a person and make them feel that they are nothing. Maybe this is why when someone asks me where I work or what I want to do, knots in my stomach begin to tighten and the butterflies come swarming in. I don't know exactly what I want to do! This freaks me out. But I know that I want to be something great. I want to inspire the world. I want to work hard and be stressed out, as long as I have a job that makes me happy and proud. And until I get there, I will just have to keep aiming for my dream to come true. But thanks to Clotaire Rapaille, I now know that it is perfectly fine to have these fears. It's one of the American codes we possess. There are many others. Many of us all want the same thing and when we look at all those higher up people that have it, we wonder why we can't have it too. And until then, it is just hard sometimes to untie those knots.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Can't Sleep Syndrome
Tossing and turning, thinking and questioning. Does this sound familiar? We all wish for relaxtion to save us from the stressful day and I'm sure many actually get excited when it is bed time. I do. But when it comes down to it when I go to bed, sometimes it takes me so long to fall asleep. And when I do I guess it is because my thoughts suffocate me and make me go to sleep because I have so many crazy dreams.
I am going to explain about the knots. Most everyone calls them butterflies but it's the aweful tightening in our stomachs, the untertainty, worry, stress that gathers all together and decides to have a party. When the party starts picking up, that's when it gets overwelming. Tighter they get and larger. How can anyone sleep with a stomach filled of knots? In many situations, we know what causes the knots but sometimes we just don't. And then there are moments where we forget something or have to finish going over the millions of senerios in our heads in order for us to rest easy. Sleep is wonderful but it isn't always easy to fall asleep. The unresolved issues are the worst. But your not alone.
(not finished)
I am going to explain about the knots. Most everyone calls them butterflies but it's the aweful tightening in our stomachs, the untertainty, worry, stress that gathers all together and decides to have a party. When the party starts picking up, that's when it gets overwelming. Tighter they get and larger. How can anyone sleep with a stomach filled of knots? In many situations, we know what causes the knots but sometimes we just don't. And then there are moments where we forget something or have to finish going over the millions of senerios in our heads in order for us to rest easy. Sleep is wonderful but it isn't always easy to fall asleep. The unresolved issues are the worst. But your not alone.
(not finished)
Fantasy World
I am a dreamer. Dreams were I can escape reality, fly away to an island where it's warm and beautiful and the sea is crystal clear. I like to dream of getting married and living the perfect life with someone. To be in love with that person for the rest of my life and not have change take over and claim owernship. But most importantly I want to be a child forever. To posess child-like instincts and not be afraid to act silly. Is it wrong to dream?
More people in life should dream and seek the impossible. I also think it is important to welcome and embrace change. Take risks. Ask questions. And don't be afraid. Personally one of my worse fears in life is a fear of change. Once I'm happy about about something and comfortable, I feel like change starts to come into play and here I am analyzing again. It is wonderful to dream but don't dwell in this state for too long that if the outside world doesn't match what you really want, you can't possibly be happy for too long.
My Best friend and I got into a conversation about expectations and I told him about the fears I have about change. I feel that I am in safe mode right now where I am free to live in my fantasy world of wonder- where I can visualize a relationship and have it be perfect and let it fulfill all the expectations that I have in my head. But once I take that chance, will reality match my fantasy? I'm afraid that there won't be much to look foward to after being with someone for so long and I just want to savor all the special moments- cherish them because I don't know how long it will last. But right at this moment, I don't have to worry and I think that's what I like. Fear of commitment, fear of change, or perhaps there is that something else inside me that I fear. My friend told me that it's nice to go to an island but you can't live there. And you will never know anything in life unless you take a chance. Yes, there are many relationships that don't last and don't live up to any sort of expectation we all hope for but unless our hearts are open, we will always be afraid to move. There is no such thing as the perfect life. But we can certainly have a life that is pretty damn close.
I think it's about time I start embracing my own advice.
More people in life should dream and seek the impossible. I also think it is important to welcome and embrace change. Take risks. Ask questions. And don't be afraid. Personally one of my worse fears in life is a fear of change. Once I'm happy about about something and comfortable, I feel like change starts to come into play and here I am analyzing again. It is wonderful to dream but don't dwell in this state for too long that if the outside world doesn't match what you really want, you can't possibly be happy for too long.
My Best friend and I got into a conversation about expectations and I told him about the fears I have about change. I feel that I am in safe mode right now where I am free to live in my fantasy world of wonder- where I can visualize a relationship and have it be perfect and let it fulfill all the expectations that I have in my head. But once I take that chance, will reality match my fantasy? I'm afraid that there won't be much to look foward to after being with someone for so long and I just want to savor all the special moments- cherish them because I don't know how long it will last. But right at this moment, I don't have to worry and I think that's what I like. Fear of commitment, fear of change, or perhaps there is that something else inside me that I fear. My friend told me that it's nice to go to an island but you can't live there. And you will never know anything in life unless you take a chance. Yes, there are many relationships that don't last and don't live up to any sort of expectation we all hope for but unless our hearts are open, we will always be afraid to move. There is no such thing as the perfect life. But we can certainly have a life that is pretty damn close.
I think it's about time I start embracing my own advice.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Goody-Two-Shoes
We all are at fault of making fun of somebody whether that it is at school, work, or when we are just out shopping. I do it too, alto ugh I try not to sometimes because I don't get pleasure in making fun of other people. But sometimes by just thinking something really quick, it does help you feel better or make you laugh. When you start dwelling on the comments we make and continue to make them then that might be a different story.
I was at fault of calling someone a goody-two-shoes yesterday. If you aren't familiar with the term, it is somebody who seems to be the best at everything and who wants to be the best at everything. It is almost as if they know people are watching because they put on a show of looking good. But really, they may not think these things about themselves. It is the assumptions we create inside our own minds and then what happens? We begin to characterize this person and start to not like them even more. Have you ever hated someone and then eventually became friends and realized that your opinions of the person were just not true. Maybe you over looked particular flaws and connected anyway. The same thing applies here. And here I am thinking this to myself instead of trying to pay attention in class and answer the same questions.
Maybe she does smile too much but it doesn't mean I don't know the same answers or I can't come up with some analytical responses. I am blaming her for being a person I am perfectly capable of being. And that's not acceptable.
I was at fault of calling someone a goody-two-shoes yesterday. If you aren't familiar with the term, it is somebody who seems to be the best at everything and who wants to be the best at everything. It is almost as if they know people are watching because they put on a show of looking good. But really, they may not think these things about themselves. It is the assumptions we create inside our own minds and then what happens? We begin to characterize this person and start to not like them even more. Have you ever hated someone and then eventually became friends and realized that your opinions of the person were just not true. Maybe you over looked particular flaws and connected anyway. The same thing applies here. And here I am thinking this to myself instead of trying to pay attention in class and answer the same questions.
Maybe she does smile too much but it doesn't mean I don't know the same answers or I can't come up with some analytical responses. I am blaming her for being a person I am perfectly capable of being. And that's not acceptable.
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